You want them to say yes. You want them to move forward with you.

They should. They need you. They have a problem, and you’re the solution.

They know they should. That’s why they’re sitting across from you right now. They’re tired of the situation, and you offer a path to a better, happier life with this problem put well behind them.

They hesitate, however. They’re ready to act but not ready enough to do it right now.

Your job is to listen, assess, advise, and then—if the situation warrants it—kick them, hard, right in the ass and make them fix their problem. After all, that’s usually why they came to you in the first place.

Here’s what you do:

1. Be present. Be with them. Stay with them. Keep listening until they’ve exhausted every question. Repeat it back, let them clarify it, and let them say it all over again if that’s what they need. Build connection by listening.
2. Care. Care like it’s your own problem. Take it all in. Feel it, hold it, and wrap your arms around it. Sense how you’d feel if it were your life.
3. Identify the pain. Ask them what hurts the most. Dig, probe, and get them to tell you what’s bothering them. Is it fear, stress, or sadness? What’s happening in their head, and what’s happening in their heart? Get them to tell you why it matters.
4. Show the value of their life. Illustrate the cost of delay. Show them what it costs in money, fun, and experience to put life on hold. Tell them how long it’s going to take. Tell them how much longer it’s going to take if they don’t get started now.
5. Tell a story. Walk them through the pain of their lives as seen from a third party. Show them how their family is suffering. Explain how distraction can damage their business or profession. Show them their lives from the perspective of someone independent.
6. Use your crystal ball. Visualize the outcome for them. Go into fast-forward mode and explain the possible scenarios. Emphasize what life will look like if the problem is solved instead of remaining unsolved. Ask them what life looks like when the problem is resolved. Get them to describe the perfect outcome.
7. Dollars. Calculate the loss of not proceeding. Break out the cost, dollar by dollar, of failing to act. Explain why it’s less expensive to fix it now. Extrapolate and demonstrate how the dollars lost now cost them even more in the future as a result of lost opportunities.
8. Scare them. Go to the worst-case scenario. Blow up their world with your words. Show them how everything turns to shit if they don’t get moving. Help them by offering to plan for the disaster of failing to act now. What’s going to happen if they don’t take action now?
9. Explain the fees in detail. Answer every question. Anticipate their concerns and explain how it’ll work. Illustrate and give examples. Go through the client agreement. Understand that they’re balancing the pain against the dollars. They likely imagine the cost as higher than it’ll actually be. Break it out.
10. Ask them about change. What would have to happen for them to make the change? Get them to talk more about life after the problem is solved. Ask for details. Get them to form a picture of resolution in their minds. Help them tip the emotional balance so resolution feels better than continuing to live with the issue.
11. Ask them what else you can do. Be direct. Ask what else you can say, do, or provide for them to make a decision to move forward. Find out whether there’s something more you can add. Be sure you’ve answered every question.
12. Develop a vision of the future. Ask them what they’d like their lives to look like a year or two from now. Be specific: “It’s a year from now; it’s the winter of 2015. It’s cold outside. The trees are bare. This issue is over. You’ve moved on with your life. What’s it like for you? How does it feel to have it resolved? What are you doing now that you couldn’t do before?” Push, probe, and get them to feel the joy of resolution.
13. Ask them what has to happen. Ask them what needs to change for them to decide to act. Get them to be specific. They say, “I need to think about it.” You say “What has to happen for you to move forward? Specifically, what do you need to know, think about, and do before you’ll get this done?” Force them to face the reality of the situation by asking them questions. Questions are your most powerful weapon. Avoid telling and spend your time asking them to tell you.

They are weighing the cost of the status quo vs. the cost of acting. You’ve got to build economic and emotional value around making a change. They’re stuck, resistant, and afraid. Your mission is to help them find a path to change that is more comfortable, more appealing, and substantially beneficial. Help them find the way to say yes.