Can we talk? Maybe we should go somewhere private? This is personal.

I hate to be the one to tell you, but you need to know. I’m telling you this for your benefit. I’m telling you because I care.

Here’s the situation: Your breath stinks. Yep, it smells.

Smells a little? No, not really. It’s more than a little. Think open sewer in an overcrowded, impoverished city somewhere in India. This is bad.

This is not a breath mint problem. Do you hear me?

How do I know? Because that woman who hired a different lawyer told me.

“I would have hired him,” she said, “but his breath was terrible.” “I knew I’d have long meetings with him and that smell made me feel sick,” she continued. “I feel like he knows the law, but I need someone who doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable,” she added.

What was it?

• Was it morning breath?
• Coffee breath?
• Onions from the bagel?
• Bacteria on the tongue?
• Something rotting in his innards (clearly, I’m no doctor)?

I have no idea why his breath smells so bad, but I’ll admit that I’ve smelled it myself. It’s not pretty.

He needs to do something about it, and, of course, I’m not the expert on breath health. However, I am pretty good at noticing when something makes me wretch.

Here are some options:

• Use mouthwash (but I think at this level, that’s a band-aid, not a solution).
• Check it with this device (the reviews are mixed).
• Get your dentist to check using her nose, a halimeter, or an OralChroma.
• Talk to your doctor.

Once you’re sure you’ve got bad breath, it’s important to talk to your doctor. Something is wrong. Your breath is an indicator.

This breath thing could be serious. Not getting clients to hire you is annoying. Having a medical situation is a big problem.

Bad breath can indicate cancer, heart issues, diabetes, kidney issues, reflux, respiratory infection, tooth decay, and gingivitis. Those problems require treatment.

It’s time to check yourself. Is it you she’s talking about?