“I just can’t close the deal,” she said.

She’s getting the consults in the door. She’s charging for the initial meeting (thankfully), but the prospects aren’t turning into clients.

“I’m listening to their story,” she continued. “I’m asking questions, I’m giving them answers, and I’m giving them a plan for how to move forward,” she explained.

But that’s it. They walk out the door, and she never sees them again. “Sometimes I call them after the meeting. Some of them respond, but many of them just ignore my call and never respond,” she told me.

She’s frustrated and getting angry. She’s not sure what to do. She literally threw up her hands as we talked.

I understand. It’s hard. They come in wanting what we’re offering. They have a problem we can solve. We do our best to present ourselves, and it doesn’t always turn out as planned.

We worry. We get anxious. We change our approach. We modify our behavior. We choose different words. We try really hard. It still doesn’t work.

I had to compliment her, however. At least she’s owning the problem. I get distressed when the first reaction is to blame the client instead of taking responsibility for the outcome. She’s accepting that she plays a part, and that’s refreshing. That’s a big part of correcting the situation, and she’s already done that work on herself.

Now, how do we get them to retain? How do we get them to move forward? How do we turn prospects into clients?

We started a program of studying/examining/diagnosing the situation:

1. Asking

At the close of each consultation, she started asking the clients whether they were ready to move forward. After presenting the plan, she simply asked the question, “Are you ready to get started?” The answers were consistent. Many clients said something like “I’m going to think about it,” “Not quite yet,” or “I’ve got to decide.”

Interestingly, just asking the question resulted in some clients saying “yes” and signing up. She hadn’t really been trying to close the deal before. She was waiting for the client to ask her to get the ball rolling. Trying to close the deal resulted in some clients moving forward. Part of the problem solved—check.

2. Scheduling

Once she heard their response to her “closing” question, she pulled out her calendar even if they weren’t ready to hire her. She started scheduling follow-up meetings. She says something like, “Let’s go ahead and schedule a meeting for next Tuesday at 10 so we can check in and figure out how to proceed.” Some of the meetings are happening in the office, and some are by phone. She’s keeping her prospects on the schedule and moving things forward.

3. Exploring

She and I talked about when you’re really going to close the deal. She thought it was going to happen when they were impressed by her and her plan. She assumed the people walking through her door were fired up and ready to go. She assumed they’d already decided to take action and that hiring her was a formality.

What she discovered was that the real close happens only when the prospective client commits to make a change. Scheduling a consultation is usually an exploratory mission. It’s about learning about the change required. It’s about seeing what’s on the other side of the change and what it might feel like if a change is decided upon.

It’s typical for us humans to spend considerable time and energy deciding whether to make a change before we commit. We investigate, explore, and research before we step across the abyss. We want to know what it’ll feel like before we do it. We don’t walk in the door ready to go. We walk in the door so we can look across the way and decide whether that’s where we really want to go. We usually keep one hand on the doorknob prepared to go back out the door if things look scary.

4. Empathizing

Recognizing that her prospective clients weren’t ready to commit to change and came to her to explore what it might feel like to cross the chasm, she started helping them explore their readiness to change. She’s talking less about the law and procedure and more about the feelings that accompany changes in our lives.

She’s helping them see what life will look like once they make the change. She started helping them feel what it would feel like to be on the other side. She started showing them how they’d relate to others and how others would relate to them once they landed in the new life they were considering.

She started helping them understand that change could be a better place, a safer place, and a more comfortable place. She showed them that their decision could land them in a happier place that felt warm, safe, comfortable, happy, and secure. Change can be a good thing.

5. Committing

She recognized that it takes commitment to make a change. It’s not easy even when we know that making the change will be a positive for us in our lives. Knowing that change is a good thing doesn’t mean change happens. We’ve got to believe the change will work, and we’ve got to couple that belief with action. Action comes after we commit. She needs her prospects to decide to change and couple it with action.

She’s helping them commit. She’s now asking her clients to design their own plan of action. She’s walking through the legal information first and then getting them to outline their personal plan. She helps them put together a timetable. It includes all the variables. It might involve giving others a second (or third or fourth) chance before action happens. Time frames are attached. Flow charts are jotted down. A plan they create themselves is more powerful than a plan imposed by others.

Once they’ve created a plan, she’s asking them for commitment to their plan. “You made a plan. It’s a good plan. It’s based on solid information and thinking. Is this a plan you can commit to? Is this something you’re resolved to do?” She’s pushing a bit, but she’s pushing them on their plan, not hers. She’s asking whether they’re resolved to do what they say they’re going to do. She’s asking, not telling. She’s facilitating, not imposing. It’s about them and their decision, not about her. It’s about their commitment to themselves.

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Getting people to commit to a plan is also resulting in more decisions to move forward at the consult. When they create their own plan, they begin to see that waiting to act slows them down. Their delay keeps them from getting where they’ve decided to go. More of the problem solved—check.

6. Following Up

Even after seeing the benefit of change, some people hesitate. That’s true even when they design their own plan and commit to it. It’s easier to leave things as they are. Moving in any direction is difficult. The status quo pulls with tremendous power. Her prospective clients are good at finding reasons to wait and avoid change and confrontation. It’s easier to wait some more.

So she’s following up, and she’s reminding them of their plan. More importantly, she’s asking them a question, and it’s powerful. She’s pushing them for an answer. She’s holding their feet to fire. After all, these aren’t random people she found on the street. These are people with a problem they came to her to help solve. She has permission to push. She’s feeding back their vision of life after the change, she’s feeding back their plan, and she’s reminding them of the commitment they made to themselves.

She’s asking them this when they’re stuck. She asks, “What has to change for you to decide to act?”, “What needs to be different?”, and “What do you need or others need to do for you to be ready?” Asking these questions usually helps her prospects see that they’re stuck, that they’re stalling, and that they’re delaying to their detriment. She’s putting their vision of their future up against their unpleasant present. She’s showing them they are the only thing holding them back now.

When they answer the question, they hear themselves repeating the same rationalizations for inaction they’ve repeated before. Often, they’ve been telling themselves the same things for years. She asks them, “Is waiting making you happy?” The answer is always the same. They know that waiting isn’t helping. She’s not telling them what to do; she’s asking them whether they’re ready to get to the place they’ve decided to go. She’s asking them whether they’re willing to abide by the commitment they made to themselves.

7. Letting Go

Some people won’t ever change. They’re truly stuck. There’s nothing you can do. Those people need your best effort, and then you need to let go. You need to disconnect from the prospects who’ll never act. They’re distracting you from your efforts to help those willing to accept your help. Give it your best shot. Go farther than you think you should until you learn how far to go. Once you reach that point, you should let go and move on. There are many others who need your attention.

The lawyer started our conversation by telling me that she “can’t close the deal.” Now, she’s closing the deal. She’s finding that the real close comes when her prospective clients commit to change. Instead of trying to close the deal, she’s helping them understand what’s coming and asking them to commit to the future they’re ready to build. She’s helping them commit to change.