Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social networks are still misunderstood, feared, and ridiculed by many family law attorneys. They aren’t willing to learn, experiment, and engage with social media, and you should be thrilled that they feel that way.

In family law circles, social media is still a neglected tool for building referral relationships and generating business directly from prospective clients. Even the attorneys who have made the leap usually go only so far. They set up a listing on LinkedIn, they sign up for Twitter, and they set up a Facebook page.

They aren’t willing to go all the way. They put a toe in the water and pull it out. That’s like going to a party, standing by the door for five minutes, and then leaving. They aren’t going to meet new people and build new relationships if they’re gone before anyone even knows they’ve arrived.

You’re going to win at social media because you understand that this isn’t a fad. You know it’s not going away. Social media is here to stay. This is an important new way for creating and maintaining relationships.

Not very long ago, using a personal ad or dating service or meeting someone online was weird, weird, weird. You were supposed to meet someone at work, at school, or at church or by joining a singles group. People talked about the odd person they knew who had met a stranger through his or her computer.

Now online dating is normal. Everyone does it. My impression is that online introduction services are the most important way to meet someone today. Online introductions aren’t going away: they are now part of our social fabric.

Today, social networks play as important a role in business relationships as dating sites play in personal relationships. You’ve got to wrap your head around that fact and jump on in.

If you can make the mental shift, or if you already have, then you’re well positioned to generate business from relationships you start online. If you’re still hesitant, fearful, and reluctant, then you’re going to be left behind.

For lawyers, social media is still wide open. Even the lawyers who have jumped in often do it in a strange manner. They broadcast promotional messages instead of engaging in conversation. They fail to take their relationships offline and really get to know people. They fail to engage with others, and they present themselves as one-dimensional people without personalities.

You can win because you can use social media to meet new people, build relationships, and enhance your relationships with people you already know. You can present yourself like a real person who cares about people, issues, and other things that matter. You can think of social media as more like a party and less like a billboard. You can recognize that these sites have more in common with a dating service than a TV ad.

If you’re willing to get engaged, you’ll figure it out. If you showed up at a party, stood by the door for five minutes, and didn’t meet anyone, you’d recognize the need to tweak your approach. Similarly, you’ll get plenty of feedback in social media if you get involved. Pay attention and you’ll figure it out, just like you learned how to behave at a party.