She wrote to me with concerns about her partner.

Nothing crazy, unethical, or even dramatic. They’re just having a small financial dispute. She wanted me to help her work things out and get things back on track. Basically, she wanted some law firm marriage counseling.

I declined.

My first question to her, in a terse e-mail back, was:

What’s the upside of staying in this practice with this partner?

She responded:

The biggest upside is that we are well matched in terms of our commitment to integrity, honesty, and delivering excellent client service.

That’s nice, but it’s not a business justification for growing a business together.

You may need a partner. You may need someone with working capital. You may need someone with connections. You may need someone who brings particular expertise that you can’t easily purchase on the open market. There may, in fact, be the elusive “synergy.” I can imagine lots of reasons why you might find a partnership more effective or efficient than running a business on your own.

But the reason she provided is more focused on the personal relationship than the business.

If she needs someone to deliver excellent client service, then she can hire someone (that’s why God made associates). She can find someone with integrity and honesty, and she won’t have to look far.

To me, her response sounds like “I really like my partner, and I like being friends.”

I get it. I could use a few more friends. Friends are good, mostly.

But this is a business. This is not a friendship. We can be friends without being business partners. In fact, we can share office space and be great friends. We don’t have to intertwine our businesses.

The Right Question to Ask About Your Partnership

We’re not asking the right question when we try to fix the partnership. We don’t need counseling to make the partnership work. We need to look hard at the question of whether there’s any business justification for the partnership in the first place.

Her question to me highlights everything that’s wrong with many law firm partnerships. They’re hard to maintain, and they add little, if any, value.

It’s common for law firms to struggle with making the partnership relationship work. They hire consultants, and they hold retreats. They take Myers-Briggs tests, and they open their hearts to one another. I love that stuff. It feels like emotional depth, and it comes with minimal hard work. It’s awesome. Seriously, I’m an “ENTP.”

But when I ask the question “What’s the upside of staying in this practice with this partner?” I get blank looks. We operate like the partnership matters and should be saved when we have no idea why we formed it in the first place.

It’s much easier to be friends without being partners. Being partners often kills the friendship too.

Before you form a partnership, you should ask yourself “Why?”

If you’re in a partnership and having issues, then you should ask yourself “Why?”

There might be good reasons for the business relationship. But—and this is often the case—there are not.

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Is it time to work on the partnership? Or is it time to unwind it?