Sometimes you’ll do a consultation and the person gets the information he or she needs but isn’t ready to act. The person won’t hire you. He or she won’t move forward. He or she is stuck.

We usually follow up by phone and do what we can to help these prospective clients get moving. After all, they came to meet with us because they want out of their marriage. From our perspective, we can see the things holding them back, and we feel some sense of obligation to help them achieve their goals. We do what we can to help them move forward.

But they’re stuck. And getting them moving is tough.

They’re only going to take action when they’re ready to act. This isn’t something we can do for someone else. They’ve got to decide to get going by themselves.

Asking questions is our most powerful technique for helping stuck people think about what they’re doing and helping them decide to take action.

Some of our best questions include:

1. Why did you decide to come see me? What made you do that?

2. What do you have to lose by staying in the relationship? What do you have to gain?

3. What is the trajectory of the relationship? Is it going to get better or worse?

4. What happens if you do nothing?

5. How will waiting affect your children?

6. What opportunities do you lose if you keep waiting?

7. What has to change for you to decide to move forward?

Asking these questions helps. What really works is for prospective clients to start thinking about the answers. It’s only when they find they’re better off moving forward that they’ll find the energy and motivation to act. Your questions might trigger an emotional, financial, or other concern that allows these clients to take action. All you can do is help them process the information and understand their position.

Don’t use the questions to sell or try to close the deal. Use the questions to stimulate thought. Ask and then leave a big empty silence so they can reflect and think. Remember, it was their idea to come see you, not yours. They’re already on track to make changes in their life. Let them do it themselves.

I bet you’ve got questions you ask and conversations you like to have to help stuck people get unstuck. Please share your ideas in the comments below.