“I need to think about it,” she said at the close of your meeting. She’s not ready to take action yet.

The things people say aren’t always the things people mean.

When I wander into the $50,000 watch store and try on a fancy watch, I usually say “I need to think about it” when I leave. Then I go outside and laugh, having enjoyed my brush with all that gold. Then I swing by the Bentley store and sit in the driver’s seat. “I’ll have to think about it,” I say as I leave.

We’ve talked about how people who call your office asking for the price aren’t really interested in the price. They have a different agenda. They don’t mean what they say.

The same is true of the “I need to think about it” people. They don’t need to think about it.

What Your Prospects Need

What she’s really saying is “I need more before I decide.” She’s telling you that she needs more of something before she can make a decision.

It’s probably information that she needs. But she likely doesn’t know what information she needs. She doesn’t know what’s wrong, but she knows things aren’t quite right. She’s telling you she still has concerns.

She doesn’t need time to make a better decision. She needs something, but it’s not time.

Something is missing. She’s not feeling it…yet.

She may not like you, she may not trust you, or she may not understand the impact of her decision on her finances or her family. She’s not feeling right about the decision. She may not fully understand what you said and she’s embarrassed to ask. She may feel like you’re tired of talking to her and she should leave.

She feels uncomfortable, and she might not appreciate the origin of her discomfort. She knows when it’s right, and it’s not right yet.

Of course, some of these folks will never act. We’ve all had prospective clients who live with unpleasant situations forever. They decide to wait.

But many of them—most of them—will act at some point. They’ll do it when they get comfortable. They’ll be ready when they’re ready. Usually, that’ll mean that whatever is missing isn’t missing anymore.

How to Respond to Prospects’ Needs

Your mission, now, before she leaves, is to surface the discomfort. She came to you for help. Now it’s your time to be helpful.

She says, “I need to think about it.” Should you push back? Should you pursue it?

You’ll need to turn on your emotional intelligence toolset. Crank it up.

Ask her for permission. “May I push you a bit on that? I have a few questions that might help. You came for help, and I want to be sure I’ve done everything I can. Can I ask you a few more questions about thinking about it?”

She consents.

Ask her what she needs to be able to make a decision. Ask her what she needs to think about. Ask her what answers she needs from you or others before she can decide. Ask her whether she’s comfortable with you and your experience. Probe, push, ask, and ask some more.

I get it. You’re uncomfortable being pushy. Maybe this isn’t the role for you.

You’re like the proctologist who’s told “It hurts in there,” so you’re hesitant to poke around up there. You’re not doing anybody any good if you don’t stick a finger in there and see what’s up.

She came to you for help. She’s telling you, “It hurts in there.” You’ve got to stick your finger in there. If you know the treatment, then it’s your obligation to keep moving. Get permission, and then stick your finger in the mess and see what turns up.

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Too far?

Look, your reticence to probe (pardon the pun) doesn’t just hurt you. It hurts her. She came for help. She needs help. You’re the helper. She’s reluctant. That’s normal. What’s not okay is your failure to help her figure it out, get answers, get comfortable, and take action.

Answering the Call for Help

“I need to think about it” isn’t a good answer in the vast majority of instances. It’s a call for help. Hear it and act on it.

• If “I need to think about it” means that I don’t trust you, then let’s build trust. Let’s talk more. Let’s address her concerns.
• If “I need to think about it” means I don’t have the money, then let’s talk about money. Let’s figure out how she can finance this solution.
• If “I need to think about it” means I’m not emotionally ready to deal with this, then let’s talk about emotions and how she can get the support she needs. Let’s find her some resources.
• If “I need to think about it” means I need to discuss it with my family, then let’s talk about that discussion and figure out how we can help make it easier and more productive.
• If “I need to think about it” means this is more complex and involved than I’d hoped, then let’s break it down, look at the parts, and come up with a plan that’s manageable.

“I need to think about it” nearly always means something other than “I need to think about it.” Don’t take it at face value. Your role is to help. Be helpful. Figure out what it means and address it. Understand the problem, offer solutions, and deliver value as the prospective client navigates the decision.

Turn “I need to think about it” into a decision. Turn it into action. Help your prospective clients say what they really mean.