I’ve learned so many lessons from trial and error—mostly error. It’s not much fun to learn this way, but the lessons stick. Here are a few of them.

1. It’s all in the statutes. Well, it’s not all in the statutes, but most of it’s right there, especially if you read the annotations. I had attended continuing educational programs and read treatises for years before I studied for our board certification exam in family law. My plan was to read the family law statutes and the annotations in their entirety. I’m embarrassed to say that I’d never read through all of that material up to that point. Wow! Nearly everything I needed to know was right there in the book. I had been referring back to CLE articles and other reference sources when I could have just been checking the statutes. Read the statutes.

2. You go farther telling them what you think rather than what you think they want to hear. It’s very tempting to figure out what they want and give it to them. When you say what you really think, they’ll often turn the other way and run. That’s fine. You didn’t want or need those folks anyway. Tell clients what they need to hear based on what you really think, and in the long run, you’ll come out ahead. Tell them what you think.

3. Being able to say you have more lawyers in your firm feels good but doesn’t necessarily make you more money. The typical lawyer conversation starts with an interview about what kind of law you practice, where you went to law school, who you practice with, and how many lawyers there are in your firm. We strive to have good answers to these common questions. If we’re going to be driven by having to answer these questions, then we’d be better off if people would start asking “how much money do you make?” because answering the other questions doesn’t help your bottom line. Focus on profitability before you focus on adding more lawyers to the team.

4. There’s a big difference between being famous and making money. This is an important difference to be aware of. I got lots of national and international publicity for giving away marriage licenses on Valentine’s Day. On one occasion, I had seven television cameras facing me as I explained what we were doing. Did I get much business from my 15 minutes? Not really. Making money is about a long-term commitment to relationships. Being famous is about a flash in the pan. Being famous is fun. Making money is hard. Make the money first, then be famous.

5. Networking in family law circles is largely a waste of time. You can politic your way to the top of any family law organization. You can get to know everyone at every level, and you’ll generate some referrals. You’ll also generate some publicity if you achieve a high level of success. You won’t, however, generate the kind of business you’d like. Think of these organizations as a mechanism for grabbing credentials in exchange for doing some work. Take the credentials with you and go network with some real people in your community. That will pay off far more than spending your time at various family law activities. Network with real people, not divorce lawyers.

6. You aren’t going to hire people like you. Here’s the deal: if you’ve started a business, you’re the kind of person who starts businesses. People who start businesses are different. They work differently, they think differently, and they have different expectations. If you’re looking for someone like you, you’ll find them out there starting businesses. They’re busy, and they don’t want to come work for you. You’re going to hire people who like to work for other people. They’re terrific, but they’re different from you. Stop expecting them to be like you, and you’ll be happier and they’ll stay in their job happily working for you.

Those are a few of the lessons I’ve learned. One day, I’ll pass along a few more.