There will be lunches that are so awful that you wish you could excuse yourself to the restroom and never come back.

There are going to be those lunch partners who offend you in ways you can’t even imagine. There will be the sleazy, the slimy, and the disturbed. At least those lunches will keep you awake.

Unfortunately, there will also be meetings where you struggle to stay awake because you’re so bored.

Some of these awful, offensive, boring people will be able to refer significant numbers of clients to you. What do you do with these prospective referral sources that you can’t stand to be around? You ditch them. You cast them aside. You buy them lunch and send them packing. Your first meeting will be your last meeting. You won’t follow up, and you’ll never speak to them again.

Networking needs to be fun to be sustainable. You’ve got to have a good time or you won’t be able to keep it up. You need to be sharing your meals and your time with people who you like, find entertaining, and enjoy. There are lots of those people out there, and you need to surround yourself with them.

Trust Your Gut Instincts

I’ve rarely had lunch with someone awful who attempted to stay in touch after the lunch, but it has happened. I can think of two stockbroker types who stalked me for months after our first lunch. I should have just disconnected from them, but it was hard to say no when they got me on the phone. Both of them were amazingly persistent, and I tried desperately to wiggle out of their grasp. If I had it to do over again, I would have been much more direct. It’s easier to see now, but at the time I found it difficult to see the big picture.

If you end up connecting with someone who, for whatever reason, just doesn’t feel right, then cut it off. Obviously, you won’t be calling the person about lunch, but he or she may call you. Resolve to wiggle out of lunch or other meetings. Resist the urge (and this is where I got into trouble) to accept the person’s help.

One of these brokers offered to put me in front a regional audience of other financial professionals. I had a bad feeling about this guy from the beginning, but his invitation was appealing. It sounded like a great way to meet a bunch of new people without having to make cold calls and arrange lunches. I went for it.

Thankfully, the talk went fine and it led to some new connections, but I still didn’t feel good about the relationship with the guy. Now, however, I owed him. He’d done me a big favor. He had me exactly where he wanted me, and I felt like things just weren’t right. Long story short, this guy turned out to be bad news. My gut reaction to him was on target. I extracted myself from the relationship and just ignored his calls. It probably wasn’t my finest hour, but I had to disconnect from this guy. I left the relationship owing him a debt for his favor, but I was certain that I needed to escape.

When it feels like a bad fit, it’s a bad fit. Just let it go. Don’t be tempted by whatever it is that calls to you. Just walk away.

There will be plenty of lunches with perfectly nice, ethical, well-connected people you just don’t connect with. You’ll have little in common and different notions about religion, politics, or something else fundamental. You’ll feel awkward about the meeting, and you’ll know that this just isn’t going to work. What do you do? Again, just walk away. Maybe you’ll see each other at civic or professional meetings, but you don’t need to pursue the relationship. Just let it go. Again, there are more than enough excellent prospects for your network. Just move on.