Big conversations—the really important conversations—usually involve bad news.
That’s especially true when it comes to conversations with clients. The challenging communications always revolve around telling clients something they don’t want to hear.
Our reaction to the need to have one of those conversations is typically avoidance. We put it off. We procrastinate. We find other important things that need doing, and we decide that we’ll get to that conversation when we have the time.
Then, once we’ve delayed for a while, we look for ways to have the conversation without actually having to face the client. Our weapon of choice is e-mail. We’d rather have that difficult interaction via e-mail than face-to-face. When we’re finally finished procrastinating, we write an e-mail and hit “send.”
The Problems With E-Mail Communications
Don’t hit “send.” Don’t use e-mail. Don’t have difficult conversations in writing.
The medium for discussing the challenging is person-to-person. If that’s not possible or practical, then a phone or video call is the fallback option. E-mail should never be used to deliver bad news. You should never have that difficult client communication via e-mail.
E-mail makes things worse. E-mail creates opportunities for miscommunication. It lacks adequate expression of emotions. It eliminates the chance for you to judge the reaction, steer the conversation, and have a more positive interaction than expected. E-mail is not a good medium for any conversation that might go badly.
Topics to Discuss In Person
All of these conversations have the potential to head in unexpected directions. They should not take place by e-mail. You need an interactive modality for these discussions. Here’s my list of conversations not to have via e-mail:
- Communication of decisions from the court on any issue, no matter how trivial
- Requests for payment of your fees
- Unexpected developments of any sort
- Moving the date of a hearing that matters
- Substantive settlement offers and discussions
- Retaining your firm and signing a client agreement
- The filing of any motion requesting attorney’s fees or sanctions
- Changes in counsel for the other party
- The results of appraisals or custody evaluations
- Changes in hearing dates
All of the communications mentioned above should take place—at a minimum—by phone. In-person meetings are a better alternative for many conversations, but realistically, the phone or a video conference is far more likely to happen. The key is to be engaged in a back and forth so you can manage the conversation and monitor the tone. Don’t send an e-mail and expect your message to be well received.
