My 19 year old is living in Australia at the moment. He’s trying to figure out what to do next after racing his bike full-time for about year.

He calls most days lately and talks. He talks about whether to go to school, whether to race some more, whether to keep doing the work he’s doing or do something different and where he might like to live.

Part of him would like me to tell him what to do. He’d like the comfort of knowing he was just following orders and doing what he’s supposed to be doing. Of course, if I gave him a plan he’d resist to an extent (because he’s 19).

I keep my mouth shut.

I won’t tell him what’s next. I won’t give him the answers. I just listen and nod. It’s his job to figure it out.

Of course, it’s difficult not to express my opinion. Sometimes, it’s more than a little difficult.

I hold back. I bite my tongue. I’ll keep biting it even if he makes some mistakes.

Of course, if he gets into real trouble I’ll do what I can to bail him out (hopefully, that’s a figure of speech and not something I literally have to do). I’m here if he really needs help.

But, it’s better for him if I stay out of the way and let him grow. He learns more from his mistakes and struggles than he does from him success.

Interestingly, I have the same challenge with him that we all have with our associates. We need to let them grow. We need to stay out of the way. We need to let them make mistakes. It’s very difficult to bite our tongues when we see them getting dangerously close to the edge.

They, like my 19 year old, learn more from their mistakes and struggles than they do from their successes. When we bail them out, when we tell them exactly what to do and how to do it, we slow their progress. We inhibit their growth.

It’s so tempting to give them the answers. It’s so tempting to lay out the plan for them and guide them, step by step, through the case. It’s so tempting to tell them what to say, how to say it and what to do next.

Ask yourself what you want for them. Ask yourself if you want them to grow.