He came in for an initial consultation last March. Then he came back in August. Now he’s sitting in front of me for the third time.
He has been sitting here for an hour saying the same things he said the first time and the second. Nothing has changed. It’s more of the same. On and on he goes, repeating the same old stuff.
We’ve all been in this room with this guy. He says he wants to take action, but he doesn’t take action. He’s clearly miserable, but he isn’t doing anything to fix it. You’re frustrated. You’re tired of the conversation. You want him to fish or cut bait. He clearly needs to act. He’s in pain. He’s miserable with things the way they are, yet he seems stuck.
The Call to Action
How can you help? What can you say? How can you get him to act?
Of course, there are people who spend their lives this way. They never decide. They never act. They’re stuck forever.
However, you can give it a shot. There is something you can do, in the space of the final few minutes of your meeting, that might help him get moving. At a minimum, by taking this action, you’ll plant a seed that might sprout between now and the next time he calls for a meeting. Here’s what you do:
Ask him a few questions and see what happens. Your role here is merely to raise the questions. The answers are up to him. The thoughts he has in response to your stimulus may be what it takes to get him to reach a point of taking action.
- Ask him: “Let’s say you make the decision to act. Let’s say you tell me to do the things we’ve been talking about. Fast forward a year and look at your life. Imagine that this is over and done. Tell me what you need to see to know this worked out the way you wanted it to work. It’s spring now. Let’s say it’s the spring of next year. What will your life look like with this problem solved?”
- Then ask him: “How will that feel?”
- Finally, follow up with: “What has to change for you to take action? What has to be different before you’re going to do what you say you want to do?”
He might not have answers to the questions. He may not be quite sure what to say in response to your inquiries. Don’t push. Just let it go after listening to what he has to say. Sometimes, but not always, the stuck client will get unstuck. Sometimes he’ll call in a day or a week and tell you to get started. Hopefully, you’ll have helped him visualize the outcome he needs and use it to motivate him to get going.
