“Who else should I be talking to?”

That’s the question you need to ask in order to add prospective referral sources to your network.

You’re going to need to grow your network. It’s important for you to keep expanding until you reach the size that sustains your practice. Even when you reach your maximum capacity, you’ll want to keep tweaking and upgrading the network, so you’re going to have to keep asking this question.

You’re looking for introductions to others who can help you in your efforts. You’re looking for those who are well positioned to refer and who already have a network of their own. Your network is the perfect place to go when you’re looking to add to your network. Your referral sources wouldn’t know the names of these folks if these new prospects weren’t already active in the community. Leads from your network are the leads most likely to turn into productive relationships.

Your referral partners understand the need to grow your network. After all, most of your connections are in the same boat as you. They’re seeking to generate new business for their practices, just like you. You’ll introduce them to your connections, and they’ll introduce you to theirs. Growing your network gets easier and easier as your network gets larger.

How to Ask the Question

Of course, you don’t want to start asking for favors right off the bat. Don’t ask for names at the first meeting. The early stages of the relationship are about looking for opportunities to help your contact. It’s about giving, not taking.

Eventually, however, the relationship will have a solid foundation, and it’s time to ask. Pop the question and see what you get. More often than not, you’ll get a shrug the first time you ask. Most of us don’t keep a list of prospective referral sources stored on the tip of our tongues.

You’ll need to turn the question into a conversation. Start talking about the kinds of people you’d like to meet. If you’re at lunch with a lawyer, you should explain the types of lawyers you think are most helpful for you to get to know. For instance, in my state, I’ve found that residential real estate lawyers make lots of referrals. They see a large volume of clients, and those clients come back to them for advice on which lawyers to hire for their other legal matters. I’ll mention that fact when I’m at lunch with lawyers and ask whether they’re friendly with anyone in that practice area.

Use Your Contacts to Make New Contacts

If my lunch partner knows someone I should meet, I’ll ask for an introduction. That can happen in a variety of ways. I might simply call the new contact and, with permission, reference the name of the existing contact. “I’m a friend of Bob Jones. Bob mentioned you to me and suggested that I call you. I’m working on building my practice and Bob thought we might be able to help each other. Can we schedule a lunch to meet?” That’s better than a cold call. It’s more of a warm call.

It could be that my contact is willing to go further. She might offer to call Bob on my behalf. Or, even better, she might offer to have lunch with Bob and me together. She might even set it up for us. She will quickly become my favorite member of my network.

You’ll find different levels of willingness to help as you go along, and you’ll graciously accept whatever assistance you get. Of course, you’ll usually get greater assistance from those members of your network you’ve helped in the past by looking for opportunities to be of service.

Don’t Feel Awkward

The first time you ask the “Who else should I be talking to?” question, it might feel awkward. It shouldn’t. Your contacts will jump right in and fill you in on who’s who in their area. Invariably, they’ll have all sorts of opinions about who’s influential, who’s important, and who’s connected. Be ready to take notes and listen.

Expanding and upgrading the network are never-ending parts of growing and sustaining your practice. If you stop putting energy into building and maintaining the network, you can expect it to generate less and less business. You should view the maintenance of your network as part of what you do each and every day. Adding to the network is like watering and fertilizing the plants. It doesn’t stop, it’s never finished, and the network, like the plants, continues to flourish and grow.