I’ve been getting calls from attorneys asking for advice. It’s fun to talk about the issues involved in growing a family law practice, and I enjoy the discussions.

I have to be careful, however, not to jump to conclusions. It’s tempting for me to assume that everyone who calls me has goals like mine. That’s not always the case (which is probably obvious to you, but I’m kind of slow sometimes).

People calling me have lots of different objectives. Some want to grow like crazy and have lots of cases and employees. Others want better cases and fewer of them. Some want a decent income and time with family. The list of possibilities goes on and on.

The only way for me to help is to listen first. I’ve got to understand where we’re going before I start giving advice about how we’re going to get there. I’ve been reminding myself a lot lately to shut up and listen.

Recently, I’ve had several calls where no matter how hard I listened, I couldn’t discern the goal. Why? Because the callers couldn’t yet articulate a goal. They haven’t figured it out yet, so they can’t tell me about it.

Unfortunately, asking for help before you’ve decided what you want won’t help you get closer to your destination.

I’ve heard it said that “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.” Makes sense to me.

You’ve got to know where you’re going if we’re going to figure out how you’re going to get there.

Figuring out what we want is harder than it sounds. It’s easy to get caught up in other people’s goals. It’s easy to follow the crowd or the expectations of others. I think it’s harder to find your own path and break free of the expectations.

I’ve met lawyers who’ve been practicing for forty years and just realized that they aren’t doing what they were meant to do. They figured out very late in the game that they should have followed a different path. Fortunately, the lawyers I know who’ve traveled that path aren’t filled with regret: they’re excited about their discovery and are passionate about what lies ahead.

Recently, I’ve been talking with lawyers in their thirties and forties who are realizing that there are alternatives and that they might want to choose one before it’s too late. They’ve got energy for the change. Of course, they are worried about the cost of the transition. That’s smart, but be careful not to let your prudent approach to life cause you to stick to a path you’ll later regret.

So what are your goals? What’s the plan for the rest of your life?

I suggest that you take some time and commit to figuring it out. Last week, I heard Deepak Chopra (love him or hate him) on Larry King remark in an aside that he had just returned from three weeks at a Buddhist monastery. He said he spent the time figuring out what’s next for his life. Three weeks—thinking.

Maybe you don’t have three weeks you can set aside for figuring out the rest of your life. But maybe you should find it given that we’re dealing, after all, with the REST OF YOUR LIFE. At a minimum, take three hours and, if you aren’t already clear, give your life some thought.

Know where you’re going, and you’re going to find it much easier to get there.