“Oh Crap…I Just Got a Grievance” was my reaction 90 days ago when I received the grievance notification in the mail. I was upset. I hired a lawyer, and she did her best to assist in informing the State Bar and to guide me through the process.

Ninety days later, I’m relieved having just received a notification of the dismissal of the grievance. I’m breathing again. It’s nice to have the stress lifted off of me and to have the issue behind us.

But now that my ass is off the line, I can reflect on the situation and see the mess I made. Now, with some emotional distance, I can examine the situation dispassionately.

When looking at what happened, it’s tempting to blame the client. It’s easy to imagine that she’s crazy or that she blamed me for how upset she was with her situation. It’s easy to imagine that she interpreted some communication—or more likely, lack of communication—in a manner that turned her against me. It would be easy to talk myself into believing that she filed her grievance because she was upset that we insisted that she pay a fee.

But it’s not about her.

What You Can Learn From a Grievance

Her grievance is a symptom of a broken system—our system. Her grievance is evidence that we dropped the ball. Her grievance is our failure.

Having the State Bar off our backs is wonderful. But getting that issue resolved doesn’t solve the problem.

Sure, the State Bar says we get to keep our law license. But do we get to keep our reputation for being good lawyers? Do we get to keep our business strong, healthy, and growing when there’s a dissatisfied former client roaming the streets talking negatively about us? Are her friends and family interested in what the State Bar says about us or what she says about us?

We may not have violated the Rules of Professional Conduct—thankfully—but we broke the rules of creating more customers. We exist to serve our clients. When they file a grievance, they’re screaming LOUD AND CLEAR that we failed them. That grievance was her shout that we disappointed her, that we failed her, and that we took the trust she placed in us and broke her heart a little more than it was already broken.

I’m relieved to keep my license. I’m concerned about whether I’ll use it wisely, in the service of others, going forward. It’s imperative that I use this moment to look critically at the pieces of our business that brought us to this juncture with this client. It’s not a time of celebration and relief. It’s a time of examination and reflection. There are lessons in upset clients. We’re not learning them if we stop once the State Bar says it’s done with us. The big issue is not with them. The big issue is with us.