So much of what I suggest gets a negative response.

“Try this,” I say. “I sort of did that, and it didn’t work,” he responds.

“How about this idea…,” I counter. “We’re not allowed to do that here,” he replies.

We go back and forth as I offer a suggestion and he provides me with a quick reason for why it won’t work.

Negativity is really fear.

I get it now. It took me a long time. I didn’t understand why so many of my ideas were rejected so quickly.

I always found it particularly surprising when the idea that was rejected was something I was already doing successfully.

I can find lawyers right now who’ll tell me—at length—why they can’t use fixed fees, have employees work remotely, provide DIY services online, practice virtually, employ a full commission system, or move their technology to the cloud. They’ll explain why my networking approach won’t work and why they can’t build a website like mine. They’ll help me understand why my situation is different from theirs. They reject ideas I’ve used successfully for many years. They’re “unworkable,” they say.

The Power of Fear

Fear is powerful. It seizes control. We don’t even know that it’s fear. It doesn’t feel frightening to us now. It’s too integrated for us to identify.

But it’s fear. You’re afraid that something bad will happen to you. You’re afraid that you aren’t going to get what you want, that you aren’t capable of succeeding, or that you are going to be harmed in some way.

Fear stops us from changing, trying, and experimenting. Fear stops us dead in our tracks.

What’s sad is that we fear bad things happening if we make changes while we’re already experiencing bad things. The fear paralyzes us. It keeps us from going from a bad place to a better place because we’re afraid that the better place might be worse. We’re stuck.

How to Defeat the Fear

But you don’t have to live in a paralyzed, fear-driven state.

See the negativity for what it is. Open your eyes. Know that when you’re searching for a rationale for rejecting the idea that you’re really searching for a way to reject the change. Know that your negative response isn’t you. It’s the fear speaking.

Fear is hard to manage. Fear is hard to spot. It’s hard for tough guys like us to believe that we’re letting ourselves be governed by something we can’t see or touch. The enemy is invisible.

Seeing it is the first step. Know when you reject my ideas that you’re speaking from fear. Or, if you prefer, simply keep telling yourself that you’re just waiting for me to eventually come up with a good idea. I can hear you now. “I’m not afraid. I’m just waiting for Rosen to come up with something I can use.” Yep, fear.