You spent three years in law school learning to think like a lawyer. Now it’s time to stop. Not permanently, but for 10 minutes. Let’s spend 10 minutes together thinking like a PERSON instead of a lawyer.
It’s not just ANY person we’re talking about. It’s a specific type of person. It’s your typical client.
We’re going to think like the person you represent.
Take a break. Push back the laptop. Put the phone on silent. Go quiet for 10 minutes.
Let’s go.
Put Yourself in Your Client’s Shoes
Sit back and release your identity as a lawyer. Stop analyzing issues and evaluating options. Spend the next 10 minutes thinking like someone who never learned all that stuff you’ve learned through schooling and practice.
For just a few minutes, put yourself in the position of your client. Imagine being the person to whom whatever happened happened. Be the client in your mind. Pretend your life is the client’s life. Be the client in your imagination.
Close your eyes and think about your last client meeting. Think about the words the client said. Play the tape back in your mind and listen carefully to the language the client selected.
- What was the client thinking when he or she said those words?
- What did it feel like for the client?
- What does it mean to the client?
- What’s the harm the client feels?
- What’s the client’s confusion or understanding or upset?
It’s hard to recall the tape of our clients’ words because we’re often not listening to the specific words. We’re listening for the issues. We’re spotting areas of concern, and we’re connecting the dots as the words flow by us.
We’re not paying attention to the emotional language or the descriptive words because we’re trying to fit their story into our framework. We’re lawyering instead of focusing on the words being said and the feelings with which they’re expressed.
This time, as you play the tape back, let the legal issues drift away. Just hear the feelings. Just hear the words that express emotion. Note the energy with which the words are said. Pay attention to the mood in the room as the words come out. Feel it instead of hearing it.
Now that you’ve done it for one client, do it for another. And then another. Replay those mental tapes. Hear the words, and connect with the feelings. If you can’t do it right now—if you can’t recall the words and the feelings—then you desperately need to start hearing differently in your upcoming meetings. It’s critical that you hear the emotion they are experiencing. You need to be able recall it going forward.
The Advantages of Listening
I know how hard it can be to put ourselves in the shoes of our clients. It’s hard to imagine the things that happen to some of them happening to us. It’s challenging to begin to imagine how their lives turned into such a mess. But to be a great lawyer, you’ve got to be able to understand. If you’ll listen to them, they’ll explain what it’s like to be them.
As you more fully grasp their perspective, you gain advantages over other lawyers, and you’re better equipped to represent your clients. When you really understand your clients, you’re
- Better able to negotiate on their behalf.
- Better able to argue their case.
- Better able to convince your clients to take the deal.
- Better able to convince your clients not to take the deal.
- Better able to help your clients see the wisdom in hiring you.
- Better able to persuade the clients to pay your fee.
- Better able to speak to prospective clients considering you as their lawyer.
Just a few minutes working to understand your clients’ perspective adds huge value to what you contribute to their cause. Your insight makes you more useful. Your understanding enables you to do a better job.
So much of our job is to remove the emotion, digest the facts, and present the information in a manner consistent with the law. We’re objective, detached, and disconnected. That’s required to be a good lawyer.
Understanding how our clients feel, what they’ve experienced, and how they’re reacting to what’s happening is critical as well. Being able to understand them is what’s required to be a great lawyer.
