Guest post by: Diana Mercer
I’ve been a lawyer for 22 years and client 4 times. I’ve learned a lot about being a lawyer by being a client, that’s for sure. Here’s a few things that were eye-openers to me:
What lawyers do right:
Listen to clients and reassure them. The calm, confident presence of my real estate lawyer helped me relax and get through a very trying mediation and to settlement.
Set clients straight. “This is not worth your time or energy,” my lawyer told me when my unruly tenant filed a case against me in federal court over a $1500 deposit. I was mad as a hornet, but the lawyer was right.
What lawyers need to fix:
Bedside manner. My trust and estate litigation attorney mirrored my anxiety over the myriad facts in the case and only amped me up more. Remember that clients are anxious and worried, and that playing “devil’s advocate” with them in the middle of a meltdown is poor timing.
Pick up the phone. Sending lawyer letters back and forth may be a correct way to practice law and CYA, but picking up the phone and getting a feel for a lawyer you don’t know (and who doesn’t know you) can go a long way in building trust and moving the case along.
You can be your own mirror:
And if you ever want to know what you look like, sound like and act like as a lawyer at trial, volunteer to be a Judge Pro Tem or Special Master or Arbitrator in a formal court-like setting. It’s a real eye opener! Of course, during my trial representation I never repeated myself, bored the judge to death, failed to properly explain my objection, wrongly identified a hearsay exception, picked a fight with opposing counsel, rolled my eyes, or whined-all of which I saw in one short case where I was a volunteer judge for a day to help the Milford, Connecticut courthouse clear its docket. And I sort of doubt that this was the exception-and suspect it’s more like the rule.
Diana Mercer is the co-author of Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys to Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life (Penguin 2010), and Your Divorce Advisor (Simon & Schuster 2001) and a mediator at Peace Talks Mediation Services, Inc.
