Lunch is easy. We eat it daily. We pick a place, we order, the food comes, and we eat it. We pay the bill, and we leave. Sometimes we go with others, and sometimes we go alone. We do it pretty much every single day.

Oddly, when we take that same lunch and wrap it in some business purpose, it takes on a life of its own. Otherwise brilliant lawyers have all sorts of questions about how to do a networking lunch. Fundamentally, a networking lunch is just lunch. This isn’t rocket science, and there’s no reason for you to stress out about this lunch any more than any other.

Now, if you weren’t already stressed, I’m going to create some stress for you by analyzing your lunch in excruciating detail. I’m sorry to nitpick about how you conduct the meeting, but it’s important that you know the basics.

Dress the Part

First off, when you get dressed in the morning, remember that you have a lunch date. Think about what you’re going to wear. There’s a broad range of acceptable clothing depending on your local situation and your personal eccentricities. Be yourself, but be your well-considered self. Dress deliberately with a consciousness of your practice-building objective. Most significantly, you should smell good and have on clean clothing. Everything else is up to you.

Plan Ahead

Start managing the midday meal during breakfast, and things will go smoothly. Sometimes things go wrong, people get confused, and we run late. Ideally, you’ll head all that off to prevent awkwardness.

Here’s what you should do:

1. Confirm your lunch. Send an e-mail first thing in the morning on the date of the lunch. Just send a quick note confirming that you’re on. Something like “Emily, I’m looking forward to seeing you today at noon. We’re meeting at Applebee’s on Main. I’ll wait for you in the foyer. My mobile number is 555-555-5555 if you need to reach me. See you then.” The note reminds your lunch date that today is the day and clarifies the time and location.
2. Do some research. If you haven’t met your lunch date before, then check out his or her picture on the Internet. I like to save the picture to my phone so I’ll have it with me.
3. Arrive early. You want to be there first if possible so you’ll have time to scope out the location if you haven’t been there before. Sometimes, I’ll pick up my lunch partner at his or her office, but I’m not a big fan of that approach for the first meeting. The pick-up adds lots of time to the event. I’d rather take that approach in subsequent meetings, after I’ve determined that this relationship is going forward.
4. Talk to the host. Upon arrival, talk to the host or hostess and determine whether your partner has already arrived. “Is anyone waiting?” is my usual question. I then scope out the restaurant just to be sure the host is correct. I’ve had a number of situations where the other person arrived before me and was seated and the host mixed things up.
5. Wait in the lobby. If it gets late, like 15 minutes after the scheduled time, sit down and order your lunch. I’d suggest calling the person’s mobile number, if you have it, at that point to see what’s happening.
6. Greet your contact. Once your contact arrives at the restaurant, stand up and greet him or her. Make eye contact and shake hands. Thank the person for coming, tell the host that you’re ready to be seated, and head for the table. Fall back and let your guest follow the host to the table with you following behind.

Order, Nod, and Chew

1. Mind your manners. Sit down and put your napkin in your lap right now. Get it off the table and in your lap immediately.
2. Order drinks and start small talk. The waiter will fill your water glasses and ask about drinks. Go ahead and place your order while checking out the menu. Give your guest time to make a decision, but get the conversation started. If you’re struggling at all in the opening moments, you can fall back on a question about the drive over to the restaurant or the weather. “Did you have any trouble finding this place?” or “Did you get hit by that rain earlier?” or “Wow, it’s cold out there. How are you coping with the winter so far?”
3. Choose your meal. At this point, the conversation will often turn to the menu. Your guest might ask, “Have you been here before? What’s good?” Provide assistance if you’re able to do so and finish the ordering. Be sure to order something you can eat with some grace. Pasta gets tricky, as do big sandwiches. Shoot for something easy to cut and eat without making a mess.
4. Start the conversation. Once the ordering is out of the way, it’s time to get and keep the conversation going. You’ve come prepared with questions, and now is the time to use them. Resist letting your guest turn the meeting into a conversation where you do most of the talking. The more your guest talks, the more he or she will like you. Keep your guest going by being interested and learning about his or her life. If you find yourself talking too much, wrap it up with a good question and get back to listening.

Exit Gracefully

Once the meal is finished and the conversation winds down, it’s time to wrap it up.

1. Get closure. Walk your guest out and say goodbye. Shake hands again and head back to your office.
2. Take notes. You’ll need to hurry because now it’s time for you to start recording all of your notes from lunch. Record as much information as you can in your system. Do it immediately, because soon you’ll be on to another meeting, and it will all start to slip away.