“It’s going to be terrible.” “You’re going to be miserable.” “You’ll be lucky to be left with a pot to piss in.” These are lines you can deliver during an initial consultation that will lower expectations. Are they truthful? That’s a matter of perspective. If Bill Gates were left with “Oprah money” after a divorce, he might be suicidal, right? That’s an old Chris Rock line.

If you deliver these lines, or your personal equivalent, you are going to make that client happy if you deliver any results at all. They are positioned to expect a terrible result. If you deliver anything, you’re a hero.

My point is that perceptions are the whole game in our business. The actual result is less important that the promise made and the performance on that promise.

So, in an initial consultation you should under promise. As you represent the client, you should over deliver. That way the client expects less and you deliver more. The client’s perception will be that you did a good job. Make sense?

Now you’re thinking “that’s great, but if I deliver those lines I’ll never get hired by a client.” Why would they hire me if I can’t deliver much of anything for them? Legitimate concern. Getting hired is important. Lets talk about that.

I’m not suggesting that you tell the client there’s nothing you can do to help them. In fact, I’d suggest that you make generous promises about helping the client through the process, helping them understand what’s happening, helping them make educated/informed decisions and helping them feel certain that they did all they could and should have done. Those are promises you can make and keep. It’s the other kind of promises I’d avoid – promises like “you’re going to get the house, plenty of cash and exclusive custody of the children.” You can’t be certain about those things, so I’d be very careful to under promise.

How will the client react? I’ve been consistently surprised by the response I’ve received to my dire predictions. Usually, prospective clients tell me they appreciate my honesty. They like that I’m not sugar coating the possibilities. They appreciate an assessment of the risks and the possible scenarios. I’ve not encountered resistance to getting the client to hire us.

Most importantly, every time we under promise and over deliver, we have a happy client. That’s important and it feels good too.