Take a look at any lawyers at any time, and you’re likely to see them talking to a client on the phone.

We’re all used to sticking our heads in the office of other lawyers, and the first thing we do is check to see whether they’re on the phone. It’s like the phone handset is appended to the lawyer’s ear.

Talking to clients is an essential activity for most of us. It’s what makes clients happy. They like the attention, it calms their nerves, and it usually results in progress toward resolving the problem.

However, while it all looks the same externally, talking to a client can be qualitatively very different from call to call.

The Two Types of Client Phone Calls

Some client phone calls are reactive: they’re about fixing the upset of the moment. These clients are distressed about a document they just received, a settlement proposal they didn’t expect, or some other event that just took place. You feel like you’re fixing things and trying to get the client back on track and moving forward.

Some client calls are proactive. These calls are about alerting the client as to the status of the case or a recent development both you and the client discussed earlier as a possibility. These calls are about planning, monitoring, and checking in. They weren’t triggered by an upset or a change: they’re part of the normal flow of the relationship and representation.

Reactive calls are draining. They’re exhausting. Proactive calls are upbeat and energizing. They leave you feeling good about the work with the client.

Are You Making Deposits to Your Emotional Bank Account?

Of course, both types of phone calls look the same to the untrained eye—there’s a lawyer on the phone—but experienced lawyers can listen to other lawyers and immediately understand when they’re in reactive mode and when they’re in proactive mode.

The proactive calls are like deposits to the emotional bank account. The reactive calls are withdrawals.

I really like the emotional bank account analogy for attorney-client relationships. Sometimes we’re building the balance in the account (with positive, pleasant conversations), and sometimes we’re depleting the balance (with difficult conversations). The balance goes up and down over the course of the representation, and we use up some of it when we ask clients to trust us and do something uncomfortable. If the representation ends with a surplus, then we get referrals from the client. If it ends with a deficit, then we get trashed all over town.

The reactive calls require lots of energy. They wear us out. They’re a drain on us. A day full of reactive calls is a day that leaves us feeling miserable. A day filled with proactive calls has the opposite effect.

If you’ve been negligent about making proactive calls to clients to build that account balance, you’re likely dealing with lots of upset people. You’re putting out one fire after another. You can’t get ahead.

If you’re making the proactive calls, then your clients are largely calm and cool. Certainly, that’s not the case with every single client at every single moment, but it’s more often the case than not.

Once you’re in reactive mode—with lots of upset clients—it’s difficult to turn things around. It’s challenging to get things under control. Some lawyers spend their entire career in reactive mode. They never get on top of the relationships.

Advice You Can Take to the Bank

How can you turn it around? How can you build the balance in the emotional bank account? What can you do?

Temporarily, you’ve got to double down on the calls. You’ve got to talk to everyone more often. Of course, you’ll have to stay on top of the upsets and keep those clients under control. Simultaneously, you’ll need to start with proactive calls. You’ll need to connect with each of those clients twice a week. You’ll need to check in with them, update them, and listen to them. You’ll need to make deposits in the bank account.

For a few weeks, you’ll talk on the phone constantly. You’ll be calling clients from the office, from the car, and from home. Very quickly, you’ll notice the change. You’ll feel the tide turn. Instead of upset, angry words, you’ll hear expressions of gratitude. You’ll hear clients laughing and being positive. You’ll find impossible clients behaving more tolerably. The change comes quickly if you do the hard work of building the account balances.

I have a system for calling clients. It’s simple. It involves lots of phone calls.

If you follow my advice, soon you’ll be fighting fewer fires, and you’ll have clients who feel included, respected, and understood. Soon you’ll find yourself finishing up your calls early because your clients have less to say when they know you’ll call again soon. You’ll find yourself with time to do other things when you’re not in reactive mode all the time.