The things we think should matter are not always the things that actually matter.
You go to the doctor and two things happen.
- You’re kept waiting for 90 minutes.
- Your blood test indicates that you are borderline pre-diabetic. You need to watch your diet and weight, start an exercise regimen, and come back next year for another blood test.
Which of the two events is more significant?
The waiting, of course.
If someone asks about your doctor visit, you’ll pontificate about how annoying it is that the doctor kept you waiting for so long. You may not say it, but you’ll think, “Doesn’t she know who I am?”
The pre-diabetes? No biggie. You won’t even mention it.
The waiting 90 minutes is what matters even though the pre-diabetes may turn into diabetes. That could result in a heart attack, a stroke, kidney issues, blindness, the loss of limbs, and massive dental problems if not managed correctly. Diabetes is a big deal.
But 90 minutes!
I get it. I’d be agitated about the wait as well. It’s the part we understand. It’s the part that makes us feel out of control, insulted, and unimportant. The waiting drives us crazy.
Our Heart Rules Our Head
Can we agree that our response is kind of emotional?
We don’t always respond to the professionals from whom we purchase services in a completely rational manner. Emotions sometimes take over.
Our clients, of course, respond to us in the same emotional manner. Emotions rule in many professional service environments.
You’ve seen it:
- You get a great result in court, but your client is upset because you didn’t call to convey the outcome until the next day.
- You achieve a settlement for much more money than expected, but the client is upset because you spelled the child’s name wrong or reversed “plaintiff” and “defendant” in the court order.
- You win the critical motion, but your client is distressed because you couldn’t work into your argument some derogatory information about the opposing party.
The things that should matter sometimes aren’t the things that actually matter.
Yep, emotions rule. It’s the same for our clients as it is for us. Reactions to the delivery of professional services are often colored by circumstances that have little to do with the outcome.
Your doctor did a good job. The pre-diabetes diagnosis is helpful. You’ll have a chance to turn things around.
But the reputation of your doctor will be damaged by your comments about the delay. She got the technical part right, but by leaving you waiting in the lobby, she gets tarnished.
You’re in the same boat when you’re the professional. The things that should matter might not. Think about what should matter as well as what actually matters. The debate about what should matter versus what actually matters isn’t resolved by us.
