“Can I bring my wife?”

I get these e-mails about once a month from lawyers taking my networking course.

They want to know whether it’s okay to bring their spouse with them to lunch. Quite often, this is rooted in some understanding between the lawyer and his spouse about private meetings with people of the opposite sex.

I don’t intend to pick on men with the quote above. I’ve had the same discussion with women, but it’s far more common that I get the question from men.

Can you bring your wife to a networking lunch with a professional of the opposite sex?

No. Hell, no. It’s weird. Don’t do it.

If you’re not allowed/comfortable with having lunch with a woman, then don’t do lunch. Stay home. Keep your issues to yourself.

I’m not sure exactly what weird message it sends when you bring your spouse, but it’s weird. Someone more articulate than me will have to explain that it says negative things about you and your thinking. It’s not going to help you get referrals.

Don’t take your wife to lunch.