You’re doing as I suggest in Networking 101. You’re calling prospective referral sources in search of lunch dates.

It’s not always smooth sailing.

Sometimes you’re nervous. You’re risking rejection, embarrassment, or simply being treated as unimportant. It’s a scary move, but you’re doing it.

How’s It Going to Play Out?

In large part, the outcome is determined before you dial the number. Mostly, your success or failure is going to have little to do with the person on the other end of the line.

Whether your call turns into a lunch is going to be determined by your beliefs about yourself. If you’re confident in yourself and what you offer, the call is going to go well. If you’re not, then you’re going to end up having lunch by yourself.

When I speak of confidence, I’m not talking about hype, exaggeration, or hyperbole. I’m speaking of your belief that you bring something of value to the table.

If you don’t believe in yourself, then don’t expect others to believe in you either. I know you’ve heard that said a million times. Why do people keep saying it? Because it’s true.

If you don’t believe in your heart that you’re worth meeting, then you’re going to get rejected by others. They can hear it in your voice and feel it in your presence—even over the phone. You’ll signal that you don’t believe that your offer is worth the time of the person you’re asking to lunch.

What Can You Do About It?

Go back to the drawing board. Figure out what difference you make in the world. Figure out how you contribute. Figure out what it is that you can offer that positively affects your clients and not just yourself. If you come up with nothing, then learn something new. Create value. Be certain that you’ve got something valuable to contribute before you make the call.

You’ll never be able to sell it to referral sources if it isn’t real. You’ve got to gain the skills required to deliver something of value. When you can see the value, you’ll be able to convince others. Until that point, you’re better off staying away from the phone.

Don’t fake it. Don’t pretend. Don’t simply say it louder. Those tactics will betray you.

Say it because it true. Say it because you believe it. Say it because you know you can make a difference in the lives of your clients.

When you know it’s true, the person on the other end of the line will know it too.